Preface to the seventh edition, 2014

Six paintings on display in an Emirati museum and considered to be canonical examples of early 20th century Arab abstractions that far surpass in quality their western counterparts, were removed from view last June.

​Was it because their auction-house-confirrmed provenance was suddenly in question? No.

​Was it because some local religious figure had ‘read between the lines’ a veiled threat to the legitimacy of the Sheikhs’ rule? No.

​It was because the painter’s recently discovered journals revealed that the works, hitherto thought as modernist abstractions, were revealed to be objective paintings of western paintings' shadows.

​It remains unclear why this new revelation resulted in the paintings' removal from the museum.

Section 88: ACT VI, 2014

At the opening of a new museum of modern and/or contemporary art in an Arab city, a proud local resident rushes the entrance only to find that he is unable to proceed.

​Is it his casual wear at an event announced as a black-tie a air? No.

​Is it the thugs who shield the ruling dynasty attending the event en masse to showcase their benevolence and re ned sensibilities, pubescent future rulers in tow, who prevent his access? No.

​He simply feels that were he to walk in, he would certainly “hit the floor.”

On the spot, he turns to face the rushing crowd and screams: “Stop. Don’t go in. Be careful.”

​Within seconds, he is removed from the site, severely beaten, and sent to a psychiatric facility.

​These events will take place sometime between 2014 and 2024. We will certainly read in newspapers the following day the headline: “Demented Man Disturbs Opening—Claims World Is Flat.”